Hi out there, world!

Tonight, I am exhausted. I met with some other women moms that I rarely see.

Some of those were really competitive, in the sense of "how much does your kid weigh? Mine's more", "But I am back to work, I am more successful and hard-working than you are", "My cloth diapers are better than yours" etc. Looking at it now, that's so ludicrous a behaviour, so childish, but back then it just felt sad, poor, annoying. I refuse to participate in such talk, but it excluded me from the socializing talk, again, once more. I decided to avoid those people, I cannot succeed warming up with them. Sad as it is.

 

I didn't do as much for my PhD as I had hoped I would but I found out some crucial things about mother-daughter relationships. Scary things. The more the main character avoids to pass on habits and attitudes to her daughter, the more she just does do!

I thought I would be less of a conservative person that my parents were, but thinking of today's sorrows of the young, I think there's not much choice than to be conservative a parent to some degree (from their point of view). Laissez faire education leads just to chaos, but so does a rigorous education that's jsut too strict.

So where's the balance?

It seems like a dilemma that the more you try the more you fail, both in the novel that I am working on, and I am just about to discover that it applies to me in real life, too.

Later more about that, it might turn into a leitmotif.

Tom's Mom